Friday, 7 June 2013

Realising I became what I thought was missing for others in my upbringing.

For many years, including from the time I wrote 'Recovered, Not Cured...', I have come to realise that I have been a spokesperson for discussing the difficulties of growing up-especially as pertains to peer group pressure, sexuality and drug use and its effects.

In essence, I did not have the person(s) to speak about these issues with growing up, so in my many public talks and lectures that had a focus on schizophrenia, but also more generalised themes discussed above, I was literally becoming the healer or teacher I felt I had missing in my life as I grew up, and became a young adult.

A lot of my talks led me to speaking to young adults and high school children. I would use my experience as detail in regards to sexuality and drugs and also mental health issues. I let them know of the consequences of poor choices, and self awareness. Often I told them I was happily gay, which was true by those later years.

I have realised what I was intuitively acting out and doing in real life was to be that big brother or guardian that I felt was lacking in my early life and early adulthood. Of course I had support in some ways, but not all ways.

I have realised this after these reflections above, and the culmination of 'The Universal Embrace', really, is the crystallisation of those themes.

There is a great amount of self actualisation where there used to be confusion, and in the construction of the embrace I validate a loving male to male relationship in terms of many aspects including spirituality, politics, the emotional and the physical. I'm reflexively describing my life right now, but it is also making a statement-that all loving relationships are valid and tthat this is the essence of a positive and healthy outlook on life which I have arrived at in later life. I hope that it is seen as a guiding force for all peoples, especially gay people, that some resonate happiness is possible, even though you may seem to be misunderstood in your youth.

I didn not realise it at the time I was doing a lot of talks and interviews that my self actualisation and growth through experience had led me to be able to help and heal people. I think this is a really positive thing which is continued with the exercise of creating 'The Universal Embrace'.

'Company' reflected chairs that anthropomorphically represented a cosy couple, which was reflexively describing my relationship in about 2011.

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