There is something macroscopic and microscopic about my
visual narrative that utilises a golden rectangle and concurrent spiral emanating
from it. It speaks of the moment
of an embrace people at a Buddhist temple, as it has evolved. One of those
persons is myself-the other is actually my partner.
It is quite a departure from other dark or disturbing art I
have produced in the past. Gone is the angst and worry and isolation. Here it
reveals something I cherish-hugging, and especially with my life partner.
In the past, isolation and sexual ambiguity were pivotal in
my work, yet this is a celebration, of lived experience that is present. I’m
literally re-creating something positive and rewarding in my life-probably the
most rewarding thing ever, the affection between my partner and I.
I can not really recall in my artistic past the celebration
of being queer in any form, I guess as you get older, you do grow into who you
are and become comfortable with directly expressing gay lovers instead of
meandering and symbolic frustrations and turmoil.
I have just turned 40, and I was having a drink last night
with friends-I have to say that I told them I love being this age. I love to
know who I am and its so comforting to be in a mature relationship that makes
me whole.
I think the unfolding of the spiral in the interactive
design speaks of the infiniteness from which you came from, the journeys and
the experiences that led me to this point. It feels nice to be celebratory in
this way.
The largest square in the design is the focus of this
unravelling, in that the all important heart chakras of us are meeting exactly
in the centre. This was pivotal to the design. It cemented the focus on all that’s
good about a healthy relationship.
There is a fatalistic dimension to the design, where have
these people come from to arrive at this point? The description does not need
to be long, for the instant of the embrace is the here-and-now. It’s a dimension
that I find myself in real life, and I couldn’t be more grateful. The spiral
speaks of a winding past leading to the love sharing of the event, that makes
it easy to consider the present more effectively, whilst still validating a
long narrative in life and experience to this point. The emphasis though, is on
the love between two people.
The self reflexivity and the growing more and more to the
concept of self-actualisation has never presented itself more in a positive way
in my work, its quite a joy to work on.
Resonance is a concept that is integral to this event. The
whole dimension of the interactive frame is underpinned by the golden rectangle,
which is realised of the concept of Phi. Philosophically, this means that this
instant, this moment, is perfect and complete-it is also the sum of its past,
and an affirmation for the future.
I just love the idea and strive to be more mindful of my
thoughts as I go about my day, in that I try and catch negative thoughts,
record them, and turn them into positive ones. Worry is such a wasted emotion -
which I grapple with, but this reflection relies on thinking about the self in
all its dimensions.
It is quite startling that in the animation in which I can ‘turn
off’ my partner, the image of me hugging no one looks ridiculous! I read an
article lately of when research comes to a halt because of a subject being
lost. My partner knows my paranoias well, ‘No, Maureen is not saying we are
going to break up!’, as Maureen my supervisor had suggested the article.
Being resonant with each others thoughts, so close, is
something I have experienced with select people in my life. My partner does not
consider himself spiritual, but whenever the TV is on, or I have a slight look
in my eye, sometimes he guesses the thoughts I am having at that moment. Its
quite funny and extremely intuitive. I want to talk more about intuition later,
in where do ideas come from? How are they stored/caught-where do your thoughts
go?
The concept of resonance I think also relates to the way how
reality unfolds, the unfurling ‘spirit spiral’, you can see across nature in
things like fern trees and in ammotite fossils. For example, I was considering
a background that had to be exactly half sky, and half earth, to fit the
dimensions of the design, representing earth and sky, maybe dark and light, or ethereal
and tangible.
I was looking through some photos I had taken on my iPhone
from this year and the Buddhist temple struck me so solidly as the one to use!
There was no need to go to an airport and take a photo, as I originally planned
to represent the transient nature of relationships over a lifetime. There it
was on my computer! I love Buddhism and its poetic Zen nature, and although not
religious, use the Dalai Lamas words, ‘Don’t use Buddhism to be a Buddhist, use
it to better what you already are’.
In all the event is a positive one, and I cant wait to begin
analysing it with creative intuition that is yet unmapped.