The evolving unravelling of a creative process

Interestingly, my project is evolving in such a way that the process of discovery and creativity is live on the internet.

In this way, I suspect that the process of writing will be entirely available online and that thoughts and reflections will build up in my blogger database, with new edits and thoughts added to entries as time progresses.

I would like to find a way to quote books and references in a way that can show them while I type, create and discover, so I will have to look into endnotes and see if I can export references as this body of writing is important in my evolving, cumulative narrative.

I am also going to look into dictation on my Mac, so that in fact I will be able to say text, quite a different process from typing it. In this way the project becomes more interactive when I input data, and will have the appearance of a more accessible language as I speak my words.

I think drawing this technology together will enable the project to really come to life in all electronic dimensions.

Combining two people hugging visually from a photo

I'm very excited to commence the visual representation of two people hugging and looking into the process of how the interactivity may appear.

Here in this following photoshopped image you can see how I have isolated myself and the person I'm hugging in order to be able to ultimately engage in the interactivity of 'turning aspects on and off' within the final design.

I was struck by the feeling of isolation when you see only one person isolated in the embrace. It reminds me of the shared nature of an embrace, how it is dependant on two people.

There is self love. then there is love with another person, and I think this image illustrates that point very soundly.

The feeling of transience with relationships strikes a chord too, with the middle image of the second person being transparent. How many people who do you engage with in this way over a lifetime?

The journey of having different people in your life is part of the fabric of a persons unfolding narrative.

This image, a still from what is intended to be the interactive component, talks of unfolding narratives of people over a lifetime, and their sometimes transient nature. The fact that I am the main protagonist helps with rendering the self in terms of narrative.

Thinking of the end design

I've done some adjustments to where the toggle buttons might go in order to make the design interactive.
I've also used color to highlight visually - divinity, love, engagement.

I think this is a nice template to explore such a wonderful gesture as a hug.

Thinking about plants, design and maths

Early on when I was designing or thinking about this project, I was in the yard and decided to take a photo at my feet of a weed growing in the cracks of the concrete.

I did, and marvelled at it, as I always marvel about how wonderful plants are, and especially liked it because it had my feet in the picture with my favorite converse on.

When I got inside, I uploaded it from my iPhone and onto my computer, and started to sketch over it with a Wacom Tablet. I imagined it following or that I was tracing some sort of wonderful organic yet mathematic design.

Around the plant I placed a yellow energetic glow, as if the resonance of its energy went further out that could be seen with the naked eye.

Back to traditional sketches - considering the unseen emotional, and visually rationalising the ballet of energies.

There has been a lot of thinking on my behalf about the best way to communicate an emotional connection through energies around and within two people, including the all important heart chakra.

Without the heart chakra in tune and trusting, a meaningful emotional connection cannot happen, and as a person who has experiences such an embrace, naked, crying with joy and bittersweet connection, I thought I would start to do some traditional sketches that would illustrate the phenomenon.

This is a quick sketch, but I think it's important in visually describing the unseen energies between two people embracing.

I really like this quick sketch, and as the project unfolds and I start to place traditional images over my template, I'm pushed forward into thinking how all these multi dimensional qualities-the physical, emotional, spiritual and political aspects of the event may be conveyed.

But for now here is the drawing.

Traditional sketch exploring how to express the emotional and unseen aspects of love in terms of an embrace between two men.

Playing with design and maths for the interactive display

Following yesterdays exciting developments with the overall lattice or template that The Universal Embrace will be constructed over, I have been playing with the idea of having the navigation buttons outside of that plane.

Obviously the buttons will have to follow some type of mathematical formula, and linking in with the free energy love machines design, I have decided to have its genesis in the three basic shapes, square, circle, triangle.

This is exciting for me, and a lot of fun to create with the utilisation of adobe illustrator.

Here in this diagram below, I am playing with various options for displaying buttons that will add and subtract data from the overall finished design.

The circle square triangle idea also stemmed from a time at university when I purchased a book - The Genesis of Form, by XXXXX XXXX in which different artists are given a brief to place the three basic shapes into an artistic statement.

The idea has long fascinated me and become an interesting starting point for many creative ventures of mine.

Here in this design below, I have offered two ideas for the buttons associated with the interactive display of 'The Universal Embrace', but of course, due to screen restrictions, only one or the other will be used. I have not yet decided if the buttons will go below, or on top of the design and will have to wait until the design and interactive display develops more.

This is an experiment utilising the square circle triangle for the interactive buttons of the final interactive display of The Universal Embrace.

Getting excited about geometry!

This is the template of the final display of the universal embrace. (Below)

It is based on a golden rectangle that resonates with the divine, and this is a reflection of some growth in self actualisation that a male to male romantic embrace occurring within the matrix of unfolding divinity can exist!

In earlier writings and in my artistic narratives of the past there has never been a celebratory moment in terms of a deep connection between two men.

I feel that at this point in life for me personally I have allowed myself to be engaged and transformed by the power of love and trust in my relationship.

So here you can see that this Universal Embrace, relates to a narrative of being gay, but also speaks for everyone whom has ever had a loving embrace.

In this diagram, the unfurling of the spiral is kind of like a spirit spiral, of which you can find throughout nature. It is endless and this final interactive piece will complicate and simplify the relationship between divinity, endlessness, and the chances that can happen under that structure.

It really is a case of releasing the past and having gratitude for experiences past, and being also grateful for the present. There is a nice dialogue between what is perfect, and what is chance-like. I love Paul Kellies song, 'Love never runs on time'.

Underpinning what will be visual layers of the rational physical and the esoteric, also drawing simplifications and complications, is the idea that love is a divine energy, and is represented so within the matrix of the design.

I have decided that the buttons that are to be used to navigate the design will actually be outside this golden triangle, simply because I think it is going to be easier to technically manifest, and also because I think I would really like to explore the whole dynamics of the evolving 'spirit spiral' that occurs in this image.

(R)Evolutionary Healing, (Carly Stasko). A quest for meaning in four parts- (Notes)

1. The Challenge
   
   The technical challenge, learning different ways of digital expression and interactivity,
   A re-visiting of design ethics, get excited again about design!
   Mixing digital with traditional-research other artists, what do they have to say?
   Where does this project sit in terms of ‘arts education’?
   Lending from personal narrative challenge, past, present, future, (recordability of living)
   Undertaking a Masters Degree under the auspice of living with a mental illness, (or is that mental skill-ness? Write notes on this).
   Challenging or facilitating societies attitudes towards same sex relationships,
   The challenge of utilising Phi in the context of a dissected moment, and the symbology of this,
   Pushing the boundary of what is understood, and what is imagined or anticipated,
   What can you find out about throughout history of same sex embraces?
   This is your chance to play detective and research!!!
   How can you share the knowledge you gain?
   What does sharing knowledge mean to you, personally, in regard to boundaries, energetically?
   
   
2. Have Courage
   
   The hard work of growing up has been done, you survived, and you have reached some sense of security. Now it’s time to shout it from the rooftops.
   Standing on own two feet. (Difficult at this time),
   Remember, ‘The universe is conspiring to help you’,
   There is no time like now.
   Be true to yourself in all dimensional qualities, acknowledge your own talents, stay positive.
   Have respect for yourself and your ideas.
   Remind yourself to congratulate surviving until now and all the lessons you’ve learned.
   Explore religiosity if need be, use this as a transformative experience, for the good of all.
   Take responsibility, do as you say, trust in your intuition.
   Forgive the past.
   Remember the Lords prayer-put it above your computer.
   
   
3. Have fun and play
   
   Don’t forget to have fun with this project
   Use it to seriously study visual and queer based theories about where you fit into the world,
   Remember to have fun! How exciting is this!!!???
   Talk to people about this passion, allow yourself to be inspired and thrilled by peoples interest.
   Do not doubt your reasons for exploring this idea.
   Look into state of the art software, including the new DPI for computer screens and allow for this!
   Take time out when you need to.
   You know you work sporadically so work with what feels natural.
   
   
4. Final stage of love and (R)Evolutionary healing
   
   ‘Healing’, remember that? Remember your healing role as a person. Heal yourself first and help heal others whom are ready, or resonate with you.
   A transformative experience people can share and participate in,
   In terms of self actualisation, where have you arrived? Practically, respectfully, personally, emotionally, spiritually?
   Don’t ever think that final stage is a goal in the future, for if you had not have at least loved who you are or truly believed you had something to contribute you may have been gone long ago.
   Remember the buddhist quote, ‘First enlightenment, then, the laundry’.

The unravelling of a creative process

Interestingly, my project is evolving in such a way that the process of discovery and creativity is live on the internet.

In this way, I suspect that the process of writing will be entirely available online and that thoughts and reflections will build up in my blogger database, with new edits and thoughts added to entries as time progresses.

I would like to find a way to quote books and references in a way that can show them while I type, create and discover, so I will have to look into endnotes and see if I can export references as this body of writing is important in my evolving, cumulative narrative.

I am also going to look into dictation on my Mac, so that in fact I will be able to say text, quite a different process from typing it. In this way the project becomes more interactive when I input data, and will have the appearance of a more accessible language as I speak my words.

I think drawing this technology together will enable the project to really come to life in all electronic dimensions, and reflect storytelling to a more accurate description.

Breakthrough with the Free Energy Love Machine, past and present reflections on internalised homophobia

Breakthrough.

How intuition is a fascinating thing - in what exquisite ways the mind works, I've had a breakthrough.

When I first developed my project, I was fortunate enough to have the assistance of Dr Loy Litchenstein. He was interested in my work and was generous with his help.

One of the things he mentioned was that my animated machine, which I had presently called the 'Free Energy Love Machine', was relatable in some way to my sexuality.

I knew there was a link but until now have been unaware of it.

I think I have somewhat cracked that nut today.

In essence, the machine depends on the repelling of magnets. See this following image that sparked this idea.

Taken as a sexual gesture, we look at the internalised homophobic 'repelling' of two similar energies. In essence, I had envisaged a machine that was operating under a constant flow of repelling, you could almost say a neurosis of not accepting who I was.

I feel like I have just reached some personal renaissance into a new area in realising this.

The letter from when I was 15 suggests homosexuality whilst still not describing it. In the letter I say:  

'I want you to read this to your wife or best buddy. If you're laughing, best wife or buddy, or

rather, best buddy or wife, I give permission for RICHARD WILLIAM MCLEAN to either

bash you, or hmmm...'

I'm obviously referring to the idea, although not explicitly, that I could end up with a male or female partner. Why was it I seemed to know myself so much better when I was fifteen?

All these ideas with magnets stemmed from that time.

When I look at it now, and have become more educated on homosexuality, I envisage that this active device works under the power of the natural universe, the sun, and reflect on homosexuality as not being un-natural, but as part of the human condition.

In effect, metaphorically describing the constant presence of the homosexual embrace throughout history, under the sun, entirely natural, and in retrospect, my mind was duplicating the neurosis I had with accepting homosexuality. In the present tense, I see it as a celebration of movement and energy.

How wonderful if the idea actually works!

Letter from myself at age 15, with reflections to come.

Introduction to Thesis exegesis

2012 Masters in Education

Victoria University

'PRIVATE'!

7.8.1989!

To Rich (or RIK!) ha Age 24! !

Im 16 tomorrow. Wow. Will I get a guitar, or a jacket? I s'pose you know. I'd like to smash a

guitar right now. "You want ta - He wants ta learn the guitar. It's no use havin' it in his room

by himself. He's got to get out and play in a band!' KERIST!

Where are you? In a zoo? A mental institution? Possibly a mansion, Nah you've got no go.

Maybe your're in the tip, making mechanical hands out of coat hangers. Hey, are you on

another planet? Maybe you'll never read this. Maybe you've been abducted by aliens, or

killed in a nuc bomb. That means I'd be wasting my time right now, but that doesn't matter,

I do it all the time.

I bet you're really cut you havn't done anything in your childhood. What a waste. Have you

still got mates like Grant Jacobs? You God damn bore. I've got heaps of homework

tonight, BIO, CHEM, MAT A, ENG etc.

I hope now that you're a success in life. You can't change me now, but I can change u can't

I?You're at my mercy, Under my power. Are you an enigmatic presence packing red death

now? Maybe I'll feel your feelings when I'm 24 at this moment. 25! Gee! half way to 50! I

remember when I thought I was old at 10.

I want you to read this to your wife or best buddy. If you're laughing, best wife or buddy, or

rather, best buddy or wife, I give permission for RICHARD WILLIAM MCLEAN to either

bash you, or hmmm...

Hows the world looking now? Overcrowded, polluted, overused, exhausted? Or have the

extra yerr's taken over to control we numbskulls? I bet there's smog everywhere. All those

poor species deceased. 

Hey, have you seen an OILS concert yet? Or have you grown out of kids stuff like

everyone else?

If kids ran the world, we'd be right. PTO...

Maybe I should leave a sample of air for ya!

Do you still like 60's music? I'm into it, man. I'd hate if someone reads this. I hope guilt

looms over their heads until they tell me.

(Points to a cartoon charactor) Is he a success? Maybe he is your only friend. If he is, do

something about it.

I tried to invent a flying saucer today. By a gyroscope I copied, or magnetic powered. or a

combination of both with a huge fan. Maybe you've got one.

What have you lived life for? Was it worth it? Do you wish I'd been popular in school or just

'RICH' that everybody knows?

What are ya? Bikie, hiker, hobo, millionaire?

I bet you're average, nothing special. Do I hate you? No, just wondering. Maybe I'll find a

source of inner strength, and do something with my life, maybe I won't.

Want to know whats in your room? 2 x Oils articles, A Rockhampton and Canberra flag on

a bamboo pole, a Halls Gap and Sydney badge, a homemade crayon, environmental

balance symbol, jars and bottles full of marbles, my license, heudo, surfing posters,

roadsign dartboard reptile articles, energy for life poster, 2 x free flow design, an E.T.

pamphlet, postcards, photos, garfield in a noose, a plastic hand, a paper 'sprint' hand, a

goanna photo with me and a paper starfish, a red barren paper aeroplane, a spiderman

mickey mouse badges, a guitar strap, Footrot Flats picture, list of twenty elements,

ribbons, cars, piles of old rubbish, old broken typewriter, a desk, (homemade), full of

graffiti, a 'telephone book moneybox', bed, tape recorder, tapes, dog with specs, gecko

cage, chair, amp, guitar bean bag heaps of school books, plants, (one meditating under a

triangle).

Just got 'Place without a postcard' - Midnight Oil from Kerrie + Mark + Karen + Christian for

b'day. Got Brut 33 from Sara. Kerries surprise party tomorrow. gonna be good.

By god, tomorrows gonna be alright.

I'll try and make ya great, Rich!

Best wishes,

Rich.

(Age 16 minus 1 day).

Reminder of research question, statement of significance and contribution to knowledge

Statement of significance

1)   The complementary written words and final digital piece will go beyond being novel in their reworking of traditional artistic embraces, and focussing on the seen and also the unseen dimensions within the moment of an embrace,

2)   The tensions will be revealed between digital and traditional means of making art, and the ultimate realization utilising both methods,

3)   The project focusses on epistemological narrative in terms of the journey of writing and creation in which the process has unforeseen outcomes, re-creating the self,

4)   The project pushs the boundaries of A/r/tography through the use of current interactive web based technologies.

5)   It celebrates the necessity of human touch as an archetypal emotional need.

Contribution to knowledge

1)   It will push the creative and conceptual boundaries of past historical expressions of an embrace.

2)   The project contributes to knowledge in its rhizomatic relations across the visual expression of the emotional physical and spiritual aspects of ontological perception, via a location that frames a contemporary and political antipodean context.

3)   The combined creative component and exegesis will compare and contrast the philosophy of divinity and resonance in terms of aesthetic design and love energy, and contrast it with the beauty of un resolution in a chaotic world of flux and change.

4)   It will visually frame how transient chaos operates and relates under universal laws of resonance symbolized as phi, its relationship to God as macroscopic and the ‘God-Self’ as microscopic,

5)   The narrative and creative component will explore the constant re-invention of the self via living inquiry in terms of reconciliation in the first person and to the broader universe.

Reflections considering the self

I have emotions, yet I am not the sum of those emotions;

I have thoughts, but do I really own them or make them? They do pass through;

I have a body, but I am bigger than my visual physical body suggests;

I have some money, but that money does not make me;

I have a spirit, inextricably linked to my current physical being;

I, did not make me, but know and feel of eternity and mortality;

I have responsibility, that does not forgo me learning from mistakes;

I am made up mostly of empty space, and exist in multiple dimensions;

I don't grow or exist without interaction, yet self time is neccessary.
I have an ego/id, but that collective of thoughts and identity is not my essence.

I am.

The rhizomatic relations of skeletal structure

The rhizomatic relations of skeletal structure.

Now that I have a template for my online design and an online blog I will be able to make more frequent entries of progress and reflections.

I'm having some trouble finding skeletons to photograph and draw-but I'm planning to search out these again in the next week.

At a recent family gathering, I excitedly related my idea to describe an embrace in the physical, spiritual, emotional, and political dimensions in an interactive format-between two people of the same sex. I think this is very exciting, but an aunty said of my plan to draw two skeletons embracing, 'better make sure they like each other!'. Obviously other people are not as interested in how exciting I think this new idea is. I won't be discouraged by others opinions, and make a note to myself to pick and choose my audience on speaking abut my work.

My supervisor Maureen pointed out something interesting, in that drawing the physical skeletal structure to begin this constructivist event, has a rhizomatic relation with the start of my writing, and this has spurred on this note taking.

Its interesting that I may start with the skeleton, putting the physical world before anything else, or any of the other dimensional qualities of this work. Maybe it is because that the physical structure of skeletons is the most obvious think pinning up the constructivist design. But is it realy? There is a feeling of mine that we are spirits renting a body until it expires, kind of a dimensional birth that is basically a school for us in earthly form. So why might I not join the first impression of the embrace in more spiritual terms first?

It reflects the physical nature of relationships I think. The chakras, auras and heat auras I was going to add in later, along with the flesh, and body organs.

There is another interesting dialogue at play here - that the notion of a skeletal structure may be the genesis of starting to write my blog, that the ideas relating to drawing the skeletal structures is a direct rhizomatic relation to the structure of my writing.

This I found quite exciting, because it gave me a starting point to start writing these notes about how to produce this work in tandem with a written component.

The internet virtual and the physical.

The internet, by virtue, is a virtual space, it does not exist in a more tangible way as more traditional art, but my work has its genesis in the tangible world. This supposes that the physical world, and the more etherial nature of a two dimensional, electronic energy powered vehicle combines both the etherial and the rational.

I think it is also interesting that I will be constructing something based on form and space both in the two dimensional plane and the three dimensional form and space design. Working from the expressed spaces of rib cages and isometric perspective will be necessary for the design.

Of course, we know the nature of online browsing will change soon due to the more high resolution screens coming in. In this way I will still keep my blog and design through blogspot.com and wix.com, but I will articulate the final design in such a way that it will hold enough resolution to suit future vehicles of technology in terms of presentation. In this way the work will suitably lat the notion of an internet changing form in the near future. It begs the question of digitisation and the 'everlasting' nature of it, to make a statement that will last as long as the technology supports it.

Is this a claim to immortality in the digital world? And will the digital age last the foreseeable future when censorship could be an issue, the connectiveness of computers and the necessary technology to keep it going? I'll not think about such things yet, as the only thing we can rely on is change, yet I will aim for a 5 year window in the preparation of my design to be live.

In Taoism particularly, it is claims your thoughts are not actually your own, that they just pass through. In this way, to make an art piece is to capture a thought, perhaps more related to catching spirituality or thought in a physical way. Here, in my project, it seems to be the case that I will be capturing a single event, a moment, in time, and considering all perceivable or imagined dimensions as applies to a narrative of awareness. Even the idea of this is interesting I think, it describes a person that is physical, spiritual, emotional, and lives in a particular society and state of technology. I will have to explore this idea further, and also the seeming need to gain immortality in artistic endeavour.